Can't wait for next year

I really hate to join the chorus, but I have to say it for myself: the VMA's were a hot mess. MTV has truly jumped the shark and they now have to admit they have no idea how to deal with today’s super segmented music world. They showed their confusion by segregating different type of acts to their own hotel suites or clubs. This mere act admitted that in today’s musical environment, no one can hold the big stage, which is half the point of these types of things.

Personally, coming from the indie rock world of small stages, these things tend to bore me. And I have to say, I would have wanted to be in all of those suites at some times. I hate Fall Out Boy and Gym Class Heroes, but there suite looked like a ton of fun. By the time Lil Wayne showed up to cut a verse, you know the white girl was viva. Kayne seemed to thrive in his performances and suite, even if the industry types seemed decidedly non-pulsed by his performance of the great song “Good Life”. It almost made me want to buy the Kayne album, if I did those kinds of things.

The Foo Fighters hosted a suite, which surprisingly rocked, especially when Mastodon completely brutalized the assembled industry, which looked like their eyes where going to burst through their eye sockets a’la Metacolypse. And then came the cover of “Hotel in Cambodia” with System of the Down frontman and the Queens. Let’s just say that it took me to a place where I’m bratty and 16 again.

But most people are there for the spectacle, which this VMA’s failed at terribly. Britney was supposed to take care of this, but she was a honey bun out of shape (although she was just right for me) and a soma away from a nap. But unlike others, I can say that I wouldn’t care if I was her either. I’m a multimillionaire who never cared about music: why start to try now when I can play with the kids for the rest of my life.

The only other big stage performer was Chris Brown, yes homo. I’m neither a little girl or tey ghey, no Byron Crawford, so let’s just say, hated it. That move to big performance just made them seem insecure with their small room performances, which they kept cutting short anyway, Kayne excepted.

Then the true highlight was barely shown. Kid Rock took it too Tommy Lee, ghetto fights style. If MTV was smart, they would have zoomed in on the fight and kept security away that precious millisecond it would have taken to really let some blows get exchanged. Now that’s show business and rock n roll all in one.